Guy by Jowita Bydlowska

Author:Jowita Bydlowska
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ball Media Book Factory
Published: 2016-11-23T05:00:00+00:00

PART II

Why is it a surprise to find that people

other than ourselves are able to tell lies?

– Alice Munro, “The Spanish Lady”

20

I SURVIVE THE SPRING AND SUMMER AND FINALLY GET TO the end of it.

There isn’t a lot to tell – or there is. Gloria and I become exclusive at her insistence. This, ultimately, means that we somehow own each other – each other’s genitals and actions and possibly even thoughts.

In my adult life, I have never had a long-term exclusive relationship like this, so I am not entirely sure what to expect. There is some residual part of me, a ghost of my childhood naïveté, that keeps insisting this kind of arrangement is for something – that there is a huge prize at the end of it all, an endurance prize, a Lifetime Achievement Award – but this idea is absurd. If I were to use one of Gloria’s adages: it just doesn’t feel like me. I only go along with it because I have no mind or energy to argue it. I have reserves of it, energy, that I need for my work, and my mind is anaesthetized by the predictability that a serious – what a romantic word that is, serious – relationship brings.

Being with Gloria is similar to the time in college when I swore off sleeping with women, except that I am sleeping with a woman – I’m majoring in one woman. Whatever I’m doing with my major should count as some kind of homework – the routine of intimate dinners, the long walks with Dog, the cinema on Fridays, the small cocktail parties for PR friends, the grocery shopping trips that are only slightly less interesting than cocktail parties.

The sex. How quickly the regular sex is dismissed, then taken up to another level because of Gloria’s initiative to keep me happy.

I don’t have a problem with kinky, but what we do doesn’t seem organic, there’s no spontaneity – it is forced, like a list of activities that we must get through – homework, again, or a prescription from a chick mag, a check mark beside each item:

• The Magic Fingertip Trick

• The Start-Stop-Start Technique

• A Wild New Use for Your Loofah

• Foreplay Men Crave: Touch His Secret Erotic Spot (Surprise: It Doesn’t Rhyme with Shmenis).

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